An Ode To…
Or,
The Road To Boredom
I'm bored… It’s boring…boredom
Seems anything but boring! An unceasing refrain in our hymn of life
Which, in fact is quite alluring.
Accidie, Ennui, Humdrum, Languor,
Routine, Tedium, endless number of synonyms-
More than the Horsemen of The Apocalypse
More than the avatars of Vishnu
And the Jain Tirthankaras, together!-
To describe what?
I’ve no idea where to begin this expedition
But a good place to start is, framing the questions,
In matters of curiosity and infinite sagacity.
So, I knocked on Rudyard, as in Kipling’s door,
And asked of him a favour
If… I could borrow his Six Honest Serving Men
For my curious endeavour.
In an instant How, Where, Who
What, Why and When were at my service.
Now, that feels much better…
I’m not in the least bit nervous.
Why I am doing this? Where must I begin?
What should I be looking for? Who will help me search?
How will my journey end? …and When?
Bearing my burden of questions
The Six Men are heavy laden
As I commence my Boring mission…
All ears for any suggestions.
Where must I begin?
Am I at the start of my journey en route to Camelot
Or, Xanadu, Shangri-La or, Nirvana...
Looking for liberation?...
Absolute hell to reach but it's fine once you get there.
Or, am I descending through the depths of insanity…
Only to surface in sanity?
An infinite rabbit hole you slide down
Bottom landing in Wonderland?
Or, am I already in the vortex of a black hole
Sucked in…by the quantum mechanics of excess…
Am I already at the end of my journey?
In purgatory or, in Pandaemonium of Paradise Lost?
Why am I not seeing?
What are these contortions of myself,
I see in this hall of mirrors? Am I one of them?
Or, are they all of facets of me?
What do I need to drink, smoke
Or, inhale to see distortion free?
I look within and without ..but still I don't see
I listen…but I don’t seem to hear
Or, is it I don't want to like what I see or, hear?
What am I missing?
I'm missing the subtle hues
Of the sky at break of dawn and sunset
I'm missing the sparse branches blooming in Spring
I'm missing the seasons, with my fixation on seconds
It all seems to take an eternity!
Do I dull my mind to the delights
Of the seemingly mundane?
Do I speed along the highway-
Drifting across the centre line
en route to don't know where -
That I miss my turning?
Where am I now? How did I reach here?
Am I in the Bermuda Triangle of my brain
Or, on Skull Island trapped with Kong
Grappling with the gorilla in my mind?
Am I, my own victim of Stockholm syndrome?
Where did I make a turn wrong?
Why I am unable to escape…
To enjoy the excitements of the world without?
Is it this constant craving for the elixir
Of exhilaration that traps me?...the illusory escape route?
Why am I, where I am?
Moderation was never my middle name
No trip switch for self-control
My food’s too much, I like my booze real strong
My music’s so loud, I can’t hear you sing along.
I'm burning out, binging on the pornography
Peddled by Insta influencers
Telling me “I just ain't good enough...
I'm a long way from a better me…
“I look at me in that selfie…yeah I know!
How did I get to where I am?
Nothing was ever interesting…exciting…stimulating!
Classrooms, the whirr of fans, professorial monotony
Kitchens, insufferable clang of thalis ‘n pans
Oblivious to the orchestra of electrical appliances
Blending improvisations of which, I’m the conductor!
Automobiles - my air conditioned coffin
Closeted in constant traffic -
I didn’t see fractals in the chaos
Of zig-zagging motorists;
Insulated in my echo chamber of exasperation
Like a thousand other motorists
Un-hearing the cacophonous chord progressions
Of horns never repeated
Or, the million missed masterpiece portraits
Never painted - at the wheel -
Stoically waiting for the signal to change.
What if, I am the road not taken?
Then there’s nothing to lose…I need to drive slow
Allow the blurs by my window to take shape...
To appreciate the reflections…
And like what I see... this ain’t virtual reality.
I need to delve deep within me
Or else, I'll miss the thrill of serendipity.
I'll never know where I'm headed till I journey
To that hall of mirrors to look at my face
And see them all the same.
When will I know I’m there?
Boredom is a milestone in the mind
Neither journey nor, destination…
That fork in the road encountered daily
Or, at least periodically.
Sitting stuck at a dead end is no option
So, I double back and head in a new direction -
Not distracted or, disgruntled by detour...
Or, grumbling about time wasted -
But energized by the new experience found
Giving me a grip on slippery ground.
Whenever you reach that fork or, bend
Or milestone on the road…don’t get despondent
Don’t stop your mind at the departure gate.
Digress through the daydream
Transporting you to Camelot or, Xanadu
or, Shangri-La or, Nirvana
Or, some place you call Paradise.
Time ‘n time again I’ve risen to realize
‘Tis curiosity that’s key to mental parity -
To make the expedition everything but boring.
©2020 Ranjan Kamath
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